A Truly Awful Way to Die

Most of us have heard the story of how Socrates chose death by hemlock after being convicted of corrupting the youth of Athens and impiety to the Gods of the City. Okay, what he really said when he was asked to name his own punishment was that he deserved a wage paid by the government and free dinners for the rest of his life, to finance the time he spent as Athens' benefactor. The hemlock beverage was the choice of the court. I can't help thinking he might have been more resistant to the hemlock if he been offered the native North American water hemlock. 

The plants are from the same family and look somewhat alike, but the New World plant has no helpful numbing effect; it is a truly awful way to die. The spotted water hemlock, pictured in full bloom above, was well known to Native Americans. Diluted amounts of the plant were used to treat bruising and reduce swelling. It was used internally for suicide rituals. Wow! Who wakes up and decides they want to commit suicide by enduring two hours of agony?

Its toxin, called cicutoxin, can cause delirium, nausea, convulsions, abdominal pain, seizures, and vomiting within 60 minutes of ingestion and, within two hours, a final convulsion ending in death. All parts of water hemlock are toxic, but the poison is especially virulent from the roots. The lower stem and upper roots of Cicuta contain numerous internal partitions or air spaces that can be revealed if sliced lengthwise. Would-be natural food gourmets are well-advised to avoid parsley-like plants with this combination of leaflet and root characteristics.

True to its common name, water hemlock occurs primarily on wet soils associated with ditches, stream banks, pond margins, and marshes. It can be found in every part of North America except the island of Newfoundland. There is a secondary concern because birds are seemingly immune to the toxin. Waterbirds often eat the corky, rounded fruits of water hemlock without ill effect, though anecdotal reports suggest that humans who eat these birds can be sickened by the toxins in their flesh.  That sounds like an excellent reason to avoid waterfowl during the fruiting season. 

So why am I discussing spotted water hemlock...? Well, I spend a lot of time thinking up ways to kill people. This seems like an evil way to commit murder.  There is no minimum dose for this poison. It is deadly to all mammals. Ingesting a walnut-sized amount of spotted water hemlock, also known as cowbane, can kill a 1200 pound bull. While even tiny amounts of spotted water hemlock can be deadly, consumption does not always result in death. Nobody knows why, but sometimes people survive with immediate dosing of various barbiturates and benzodiazepines. However, it is unlikely that anyone would have barbiturates or benzodiazepines on hand. If they did, there is still no guarantee that they would work.

Cornelia grew up on a farm. She would be familiar with cowbane, and probably had to make sure the livestock was not accidentally poisoned by the plant. A single plant mowed into a bale of hay would be deadly. Fortunately, we mystery writers kill people, not animals. I have my poison. I've picked out the setting. Now all I need is a victim who richly deserves a horrid death. Do you know anyone wicked enough to deserve two hours of agony followed by death? They opened a lovely spa here in Safety Harbor in 1925.